We're a nation of restaurant runaways

Would you leave a restaurant without paying? One in seven of us have.

Would you intentionally leave a restaurant without paying? It’s a terrible thing to do. Yet one in seven Brits have deliberately walked out of an eating establishment without picking up the bill, according to new research from shopping website VoucherCodes.co.uk.

Would you do that? Would you want a stain on your conscience, as well as on your tie?

Of course you wouldn’t. No matter how broke you are, it’s not right. So why do people do it?

Dash for cash

First, there is blatant opportunism. The top reason that people ‘dine and dash’ (as this crime is called) is that “Waiting staff never came to take payment”.

Which is frankly outrageous. You expect waiting staff to be on the ball, but there’s nothing wrong in helping them out a little, such as, um, asking for the bill before you leave.

Others said they “Saw an opportunity to leave and took it”. At least they are being honest about why they did a runner, it is just a shame they weren’t more honest in the restaurant.

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Others claimed they simply “Didn’t have enough money”, a thought that should have occurred to them before they sat down and ordered.

Sorry, none of these excuses wash.

A delicious whine

Other restaurant runaways seized the moral high ground, blaming “Dissatisfaction with the dining experience” or the fact that the “Staff were rude” for their decision to dine and dash.

This is certainly grounds for complaint, but it isn’t an excuse for doing a bunk.

Years ago, I went out with a girl who was a serial restaurant complainer. If the food wasn’t up to scratch, she would call the waiter over, while I cringed under the table in embarrassment.

And you know what? She was polite and persistent, never caused a scene, and always got a replacement dish or discount on the bill. After a while, I stopped cowering, and learnt to complain myself (although nowhere near as often).

You could call it dine and whine.

Slurp and shoot

You can do it, you really can. I once returned a bottle of wine in a posh restaurant claiming it was corked, even though nobody at the table agreed with me. Luckily, the snooty French waiter did (to everybody’s surprise, and my huge relief).

And just the other week, I actually did dine and dash - or rather, sipped and shot. The menu was underwhelming, the specials were off and the wine was rank, so after two unhappy slurps, we took the bold decision to tell the waiter we were leaving. And he apologised and let us leave.

I didn’t enjoy it, but at least I didn’t do a bunk.

Bank and do a bunk

Even crooks and villains pay their restaurant bills. I’m sure the Mafia always pay for their meatballs. And as a financial journalist, I have dined with bankers (yes, I did sup with a long spoon), and they wouldn’t have dreamed of walking out without paying.

Which is a bit strange, given how quickly they dashed during the credit crunch, leaving you and me to foot their dinner bill. You could call it bank and bunk.

You can imagine their excuse: the waiting staff - banker speak for politicians - “never came to take payment”. Given the bankers’ lack of remorse, perhaps the big surprise is that six out of seven people still feel obliged to pay for what they have eaten.

Dine and die

I once witnessed a dine and dash, in the infamous Wong Kei Chinese restaurant in Chinatown, London (you can read some conflicting user reviews here - they’re all correct!). If I had to dash from any restaurant, this would be last on my list.

First, the food is dead cheap, so what’s the point? Second, this cavernous eating house is spread across three floors, and it’s a long dash to the ground floor exit. And finally, the abundant waiters are ruthless (even if you do pay) and the cooks all carry meat cleavers.

The dine-and-dashers were mercilessly karate chopped to the ground, in front of scores of diners. This is known as dine and dust up.

Nobody intervened (this was London, remember), but we paid our bills very carefully afterwards.

Right and Wong

So if you are tempted to dine and dash - don’t. If you’re unhappy with the food or service, politely explain why, ask to speak to the manager if necessary, and you should get redress without ruining everybody’s day.

In these hard times, dining out is a treat, you don’t want to throw good money after bad food. Just don’t push your luck in the Wong Kei.

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