Blissful budgeting for the big day

It is possible to have a little extravagance at your wedding, without bankrupting yourself in the process!

With just over three months to go, my wedding plans are a bit of shambles by anyone's standards - but the big things are sorted and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the rest will fall into place.

There are plenty of articles about cutting wedding costs but what really rankles about them is how extreme they seem to be.

Either millionaire weddings, or worse, smug tales from people who have got married for tuppence, with a carriage made out of a pumpkin, a ring made out of tin foil and a dress made from a bin bag - and didn't everyone have a wonderful time!

Finding the middle ground

Yes, we all know a wedding can be done on an absolute shoestring but that doesn't help the vast majority of engaged couples who don't want to have the cheapest wedding in the world.

Most people want to splash out a bit while still getting a good deal. I want to get married in a lovely venue, have a nice three-course meal and be waited on. Of course I realise it's cheaper to have a registry office ceremony followed by a pint in a pub but I don't want to do that on my wedding day - isn't there a happy medium?

Our wedding is not going to be the cheapest possible nor is it the dearest - in fact it will be well below the UK average of £21,000 (and I mean WELL below). We have splashed out on the venue (the stunning Manchester Town Hall) but we are desperately trying to save elsewhere. For a reasonably large wedding (100 day guests) at a beautiful venue, we believe we can get decent value for money.

Super savings

Transport

I don't need a fancy wedding car because nobody will see me arrive (the guests will all be inside), and we will stay in the same venue all day and night. I'll walk from my hotel over the road or if it's raining (it's Manchester so highly likely) I'll get a cab. Estimated saving: £300

We also don't have to arrange transport to get guests from the ceremony to the reception. It's all in one place. Estimated saving: £250

Location

Because we are getting married in a city it is very easy for people to get here. They can drive but train and flight options are also easy.

Plus there's an enormous range of hotels to suit all budgets, meaning people are not forced to stay somewhere expensive because there isn't anywhere else to go. Estimated saving for guests: Variable

Food

Our venue insists you use their caterers and the costs can add up. We have decided to go for hotpot, which was only on the menu as a buffet item but we asked them to price it up as a main course. At £14 a head compared to £25 for a beef course, that's a whopping saving of £1,100.

And because our three course winter meal (fishcakes, hotpot, sticky toffee pudding) will be very filling, instead of an evening buffet at £15 a head, we are simply having bacon and sausage rolls at £3 a head - saving £1,200.

Drink

Our 'champagne' reception and 'champagne' toast will be sparkling white wine. It is so much cheaper and can even be better than the so-called real thing. Estimated saving: over £1,000.

Help from friends

I thought I wasn't lucky enough to have a host of helpers, but it turns out that our guest list turned up some real treasures. We know someone who can DJ for free if we hire a PA system. Estimated saving: £200

Plus the florist (the groom's sister) will also arrange the flowers for free if we buy them (we plan to cut the foliage ourselves from local woodland).  Estimated saving: £500.

When you really think about it you will know someone who can help, or offer their services at a discount, or even recommend a good supplier. Work your guestlist thoroughly to make the most of it!

Honeymoon

Hopefully paid for (or contributed to) by guests. Estimated saving: Over £1,000.

Photographer

Ours is not a professional wedding photographer, but he is a professional photographer with many years' experience.

He's done the odd wedding and he has worked in a corporate capacity at my mum's workplace for a long time - so we know he can take a good picture and work well with people. And at £250 for a half day, that's a massive saving. Estimated saving of £550.

Outfits

The groom will be kitted out in a hired suit at around £75 rather than buying a made to measure suit for the day.  Estimated saving: Over £600.

Bits and bobs

We are having no favours (a crazy waste of money), no Save the Date cards (another mad concept), and the wedding invites are from M&S (£40 for the lot). Estimated saving: £500.

No savings here

There were some areas where we expected to save money and were surprised not to, such as...

• Out of season weddings - We are getting married in November but didn't find anyone in the city centre that gave a discount for winter weddings. Perhaps it's just something that happens out in the sticks.
• Friday weddings - When we asked about Friday weddings the city venues were no cheaper - they have corporate bookings Monday to Friday, so no discounts there.
• Corkage - We tried to negotiate corkage to no avail. Top tip - address this issue before booking your reception venue!
• DIY weddings: We toyed with the idea of hiring a ramshackle but romantic village hall, getting friends and family to arrange a buffet, and doing a booze cruise etc. But it takes a lot more time to organise and it isn't necessarily cheaper. Even a village hall or a marquee costs money and then there is the major issue (and cost) of where to actually tie the knot. Also, where do you keep the food refrigerated, where do you cook it, do you need waiting staff, and most importantly where do you chill the booze? All these things may well cost a lot of money. And it just felt too much like hard work.

Fingers crossed it will all be sorted by November with some more savings along the way. And finally, if anyone knows a cheap jazz, swing or even string quartet in the Manchester area, please let me know!

If you are looking to cut the cost of your upcoming wedding, why not check out the many hints and tips in the lovemoney.com goal, Prepare your finances for a wedding

More: Be a wedding guest for less! | Five things to do before you get married