Will good manners save you money, or cost you more?

Can being polite save you cash or will it simply make you look like a pushover?

“Manners cost nothing.”

That’s what everyone’s grandmother/teacher/frustrated caregiver has snapped at some point in response to a child demanding something without asking nicely.

And it’s true – it takes just a moment to add a friendly ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ and it’s the social lubrication that makes minor transactions that bit more bearable.

And sometimes, a pleasant ‘hello’ and ‘please’ can even save you some cash.

In Costa Brava, a café owner has come up with a good way to encourage her customers to be polite.

Her price list reveals that “un café” is €5 (£4.25) – she’s a woman who doesn’t appreciate someone barking orders at her.

However, “un café por favor” brings the price down to €3.50 (£2.97) and a friendly “Buenos dias, un café por favour” means the customer will pay just €1.30 (£1.10).

Good for her. It’s her café and anyone who’s ever worked or temped in the service industry has been irritated by a curt order, or had their 14-hour shift made worse by a customer who thinks it’s okay to treat anyone serving them like a serf.

Pleasingly, it seems that French cafés have already got in on this action.

In fact, if you search for ‘manners’ and ‘cafe’ online, you’ll soon find many news stories about small independent businesses where the owner has decided: ‘You know what? If you don’t treat me like a human being then I just don’t need your custom.’

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Personal experience

It’s not just in small businesses where manners can make a difference.

As a teenager I worked at a famous fast food restaurant not unconnected with a red-haired clown and I would always manage to stuff a few extra fries into the boxes if customers were polite.

Okay, maybe loading them down with even more saturated fats, salt and calories wasn’t the best way to say ‘thanks’, but it was all I had in a job where at least half of the customers spoke to me like I was some sort of subhuman server without feelings or rights.

But will being polite and respectful save money in other establishments?

Or will it make people think the customer is a pushover who can be short-changed, delayed or ignored?

It pays to be polite

Turns out it’s official; it pays to be polite.

A couple of years ago First Direct did some research and discovered that you really do get further with a positive, friendly attitude.

The bank surveyed more than 2,000 people and found that most of us are guilty of getting angry at service providers.

More than two-thirds (68%) of people admitted becoming cross and threatening to leave when dealing with companies that supply services like TV and internet, mobile phones, energy and banking.

Getting angry may feel like it’s getting results, especially if you demand to speak to the supervisor’s line manager and they offer a refund or goodwill gesture.

Yet the First Direct research showed that the typical angry customer secures an average saving of £165 a year – whereas polite customers save an average of £258 a year.

Furthermore, 60% of deals and offers given were secured by polite or loyal customers, while just 6% were secured because the customer was pushy and demanding.

It was far better to remain calm and explain that you could secure a better price elsewhere than being rude and obnoxious – 28% of deals struck were in response to a polite but firm ultimatum.

Tracy Garrad, CEO at First Direct, said: “It goes without saying that a business must listen to its customers but equally customers should know they’ll get the best from their provider if they are upfront, polite and direct.

“That’s not to say polite customers are guaranteed to make savings, however our research has shown that explaining exactly what you want in a respectful manner is far more likely to land you a successful deal where there is one to be made.”

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Breaking the rude taboo

So politeness pays – but only when it comes to businesses.

There’s a peculiarly British habit of being very unwilling to discuss money matters for fear of appearing rude, and it’s a habit that undoubtedly costs us cash.

Whether it’s income, spending or even financial planning with a partner, we’re strangely unwilling to break the taboo and talk about cash, even if it means we can’t compare salaries, haggle over prices or discuss our financial futures with a loved one.

A survey from University College London last year showed that people are seven times more likely to tell a stranger intimate details like how many sexual partners they’ve had, whether they’ve had an affair and whether they’ve ever contracted an STD than they are to discuss their income.

The researchers asked 15,000 participants for these intimate details and just 3% refused to answer. When they asked about household income, however, 20% refused to give any details.

And research from Legal & General showed that almost half of Britons say they do not discuss their finances with anyone, with one in 10 admitting they are more likely to lie to their partner about money than any other topic.

That number rises to almost 25% for people aged between 25 and 34.

John Pollock , executive director and chief executive of Legal & General Assurance Society, said: “Taking the time and having the confidence to talk about financial planning is hugely important – not just for financial reasons but for our wellbeing too.

“Despite this, one in five people would prefer to avoid talking about their finances and leave their financial planning to chance.

“We need to break this social norm and start talking about money. No matter what the situation or stage of life, achieving financial security begins with having the right conversation.”

Sometimes it pays to be polite. Other times, it’s clearly costing us dear.

Do you think manners make a difference to how much you pay? Do you find it awkward to discuss money or try to haggle? Is it okay for businesses to change their prices to match customer attitude? Have your say using the comments below.

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