Credit card companies reckon they can tell two years in advance if you're going to divorce. But there are financial ways for you to work out if your partner is playing away too!
Here’s the most astonishing fact you will read today: credit card companies know with 98% accuracy two years before you’re going to get divorced, according to Google vice president Marissa Mayer.
That’s spooky (and I would like to see her evidence) but I’m sure she has a point. Love may be written in the stars, but divorce is logged in your credit card statements.
If you think your partner is cheating on you, there is a foolproof way of finding out. And that's by following the financial trail they leave behind.
Your cheating card
In the old days, getting the goods on an unfaithful partner was a hit-and-miss affair. Marvin Gaye heard it on the grapevine. Connie Francis spotted lipstick on his collar. These days, you can simply check their credit card statement. The evidence should be there, in black-and-white.
This doesn’t mean you should ring your credit card issuer and ask if your lover is cheating on you, they probably won’t have checked. But a glance at a couple of recent statements might be enough.
If your partner stopped taking you out for romantic dinners years ago and you find a mysterious £200 bill from a fancy restaurant, you have a right to be suspicious - and angry. Not only is your partner probably cheating on you, they’re eating better as well.
You should also watch out for unexplained spending on flowers, hotel rooms, lingerie, chocolates, dating agencies, Viagra supplements or furry handcuffs. If you spot a flurry of unexplained transactions in, say, Paris (you were visiting your parents that weekend), your partner’s card may have fallen into the hands of international fraudsters. Or your partner may be the fraud.
A pricey jewellery shop bill might be another giveaway, but don’t leap to conclusions. The gold and diamonds could be meant for you - don’t ruin the surprise by throwing around false accusations. Be patient, bide your time, and assemble more evidence. You should find plenty out there.
Dirty debits
If your loved one is doing the dirty on you, they will leave guilty fingerprints all over their bank statements. So look out for a sudden spurt of ATM withdrawals. Check where they have been sticking their debit card. Watch out for unseemly online transactions. If they’re cheating, the details will be listed on their statements. You can bank on it.
If the two-faced swine has been funding their affairs from a joint bank account, you have the right to be doubly upset. This means they’re cheating on you, using your own money.
That’s low. And also a bit insulting. Did they think you wouldn’t notice?
Suspicious minds
It helps to have a little physical financial evidence as well.
I’m not suggesting you sneakily riffle through your loved one’s personal effects... actually, I am. To avoid leaving an incriminating credit card trail, the lying no-good two-timer may have stuffed their wallet or purse with cash.
If your partner puts their everyday spending on plastic, but your sneaky riffle produces fistfuls of notes, you might have stumbled on their sordid secret.
You might find other giveaways, such as a scribbled mobile phone number, restaurant bills, cocktail bar matches, emergency contraceptive devices or a record shop receipt for “20 Golden Love Songs”, when they usually listen to Motorhead.
Double trouble
If your partner is living a double life, they might want to double up on their finances as well. This could mean a backdoor bank account, covert credit card or mystery mobile - all the better to cheat you with.
Are they getting mysterious bills and statements in the post? Or have you spotted some suspicious direct debits leaving their bank? It could be innocent, or it could be the proof of guilt you were looking for.
Once you have built a concrete case against the no-good love rat, you have to act fast. Otherwise…
The money has gone (and so has your partner)
Sometimes, the evidence comes too late.
You thought you had money in the bank, then a cheque bounces. Your joint credit card is cut up before your very eyes, yet you’ve hardly used it this month. The utility bill has been paid, but not at your address (the electricity is elsewhere these days). Or even worse, your joint bank account has been emptied, and you start getting credit card bills from a five-star lovenest in the Maldives.
The evidence is now conclusive. Your loved one has done a bunk, and left you to pick up the financial (and emotional) pieces. Sadly, it’s too late to do much about it. You’ve lost your love, and worse, your cash.
You can avoid this sorry scenario - just follow the money. When love breaks down, there is always a financial record. If your credit card company can predict 98% of break-ups, you should be able to spot your own.
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