Many bank customers are apparently happy with their banks' service, but that doesn't mean they're being well treated.
Britons love their banks. We heart banks. I'm not being sarcastic here, so set aside your prejudices, because I've got proof.
We are very satisfied with the quality of service banks give us, even more so than last year. And last year we were pretty chuffed.
Banks are great
So ignore all that negative stuff you read in the press. Ignore the hidden charges, costly small print, hiked APRs, slashed savings rates and dodgy sales of rip-off products such as PPI.
Ignore the fact that the banking sector has just brought the global economy to its knees (and hasn't even said sorry).
Instead, feast your eyes on this press release that has been ticking quietly away in my Inbox, before suddenly exploding in my consciousness: "Customers still satisfied with financial services despite recession."
And prepare to rethink all your prejudices.
I CAN get satisfaction
An online poll of 24,000 "geographically and demographically representative" UK adults, carried out by the Institute of Customer Service (ICS), shows the major banks score highly in areas such as complaint handling, professionalism, quality, competence and friendliness of staff.
Yes, you read that right.
Banks scored a creditable 74 out of 100, up from 73 in the previous survey in July 2008. Insurance companies, by the way, scored 75.
That's one in the eye for all those journalists stirring up public feeling against the banks.
"The banking sector saw a satisfaction rise - proving that customers will rate service as they see it, rather than reflecting recent media coverage," the ICS says.
It even claims the economic downturn (caused by, ahem, who?) may have contributed to this positive result.
"With consumers seeking value-for-money products and services, financial companies are making greater efforts to impress their customers, keep them happy and prevent them slipping into the clutches of competitors."
What is going on here?
Have a nice day
The bizarre thing is that I can accept that 74% of geographically and demographically representative UK adults really are happy with their bank's service.
That's because many ordinary people experience their bank in a very different way to the likes of you and I.
They'll pop down their branch, passbook in hand, maybe withdraw some money or pay a bit in, get a nice smile from the lady at the counter, perhaps apply for a credit card or personal loan while they're there, take the very sensible precaution of protecting themselves with the bank's own PPI policy, and carry on with their shopping. And three-quarters will be thoroughly satisfied with how they were treated.
They won't know, or mind, that their current account only pays 0.1% and has a raft of charges and penalties for various minor misdemeanours. Or that the APR on their credit card is somewhat high, or that with a little shopping around, they could have secured an introductory rate of 0% for the first 12 months or so.
Or that there is only a slim chance that their over-priced PPI policy will pay out, perhaps because they are self-employed (which rules out the redundancy element), or the salesperson didn't ask about any pre-existing conditions (jeopardising any accident or sickness claim).
Most bank customers don't fuss over dreary details like that, because they've got better things to do, and that's entirely understandable.
No mugs
They aren't mugs either. They named First Direct top bank, which is a good choice, although its score fell from a barnstorming 85 to 81.
They placed Barclays bottom, which, in my opinion, is also a good choice. Although with a score of 73, it nuzzles only marginally behind RBS and Nationwide (both 76), Alliance & Leicester (75) and Bank of Scotland, Lloyds TSB and HSBC (all 74).
Which are pretty healthy scores, especially when you consider what they've all been up to lately.
RBS has been bailed out with £20bn of public money and is still lining up massive bonuses to senior traders and bankers, but hey.
Barclays refused to pass on any of January's 0.5% base rate cut, holding its SVR at a pricey 5.49%, but what did you expect?
Lloyds TSB has sneakily abolished the 56-day interest-free period on some of its credit cards, but let's not fuss over details.
And anybody rash enough to buy an equity investment fund from any of them can expect to languish at the bottom of the best buy tables.
Typical journalist
I'm being sneaky, of course, highlighting these banks' worst features and using them to rubbish the entire organisation. That's what journalists do.
I can accept that banking customers are mostly satisfied, but what I still can't accept is that they are well treated. That's a very different thing.
A smiling face at the counter can - and does - hide a multitude of sins.
So are you happy?
More: Are You Happy With Your Bank?
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