These scammers promise a foolproof method of beating the bookies.
I'm a recent - and very late - convert to the delights of Dragons' Den. Although I am sure the dragons do their homework before the show - they would be stupid not to - I just adore how they destroy the fond hopes of those asking for investment money in so few words.
And I love the simplicity of the contestants. Often they have devoted their lives, savings and gone heavily into debt for their brainchild. Yet they are thrown by simple questions such as “Have you researched what similar products are on the market?” and “How have you calculated your profit margin?”
OK, I know this is reality television, there has to be some suspension of disbelief and that spreadsheets do not make for fun viewing. And I realise that the combined dragons sometimes get it wrong. But contestants have worked hard to get as far as that warehouse of dreams and disasters, the concepts are for real, even if utterly muddle-headed.
All this crossed my mind when a letter arrived early this week. It came from Peter, sent from a maildrop in Yorkshire. How far, I wondered, would this one go with the dragons?
Would this scam impress the dragons?
Not very far. It started by offering a substantial tax-free income with “very little effort”. Later on that becomes “without effort”. The business I am being asked to back is “recession proof”, has an annual UK turnover of well over £30 billion and is far more lucrative than “stock market investment”. I have the reassurance that the letter is only sent to 50 carefully selected people, those the writer can trust with the outstanding truth he is about to reveal.
Equally, I can take comfort that this is not aimed at business scheme junkies or get rich quick fans or anyone who is expecting something for nothing.
I am confused. What is the difference between getting seriously rich without effort and expecting something for nothing?
[SPOTLIGHT]The following day a 16-page A4 booklet arrives from Peter. The first page contains just about every cliché in the get rich quick textbook, covering how the writer is living a life of ease and luxury, how he stumbled across a fool-proof way to make money and how he now wants to share his secret with me (I have been selected among millions by “high degree profiling”). There are also the “testimonials”, which for all I know have been written by Peter's friends.
The only missing items are pictures of his expensive home, his expensive car and his very expensive holiday - and that's because there are no photos. Is this money saving or is it more subtle - that he does not need to show all that stuff because it's obvious he has it?
Beating the bookies
And let's give this guy some credit. The following 15 pages are not the usual stuff where you search and search - fruitlessly - to discover what it is all about. For on page two, he gets down to brass tacks. The secret is betting - punting on horse racing and football. Winnings are tax free. The only bit that's missing is any mention of the word “risk”.
On offer is a service providing instructions on how to win - not constantly, but often enough - and beat the bookies. For a £150 join up fee and £70 a month thereafter, I would get a secret phone number and a PIN for access to instructions on what to back. There are pages of figures showing how £1,000 becomes nearly £5,000 in three months. There are bets on horses and punts on football teams ranging from Aston Villa to Aldershot via Millwall and Macclesfield. There are no dates or other details so I can't check.
There is nothing wrong with betting a few quid on a horse or a football match. But it's for amusement; it can never an investment vehicle, unless you buy shares in a chain of bookies.
What would the dragons make of all this? Perhaps they would die laughing; more probably they would all breathe fire and turn this silly scheme into ashes.