Money can't buy you love - but it can be stolen from people you love, according to this new report.
Saving money is important, but so is your dignity. So how low would you go to save a few pennies during these difficult times? Shocking new research shows that most us would happily steal from the person we love.
One in three have taken small change from their partner without their knowledge, according to a new survey by MyVoucherCodes.co.uk, and three-quarters didn’t class it as stealing. “What’s theirs is mine” is the prevailing attitude.
Watch out if your partner is from the South East, they would cheerfully purloin £10.20 without permission. The average take in the North West is just £1.50. They’re either more honest, or more broke.
Here are the average amounts respondents from different regions were prepared to take without asking their partner, ordered from most trustworthy to least:
1. North West - £1.50
2. South West - £2.00
3. North East – £2.35
4. East Anglia - £3.60
5. East Midlands - £4.20
6. London – £5.25
7. North - £6.85
8. West Midlands - £8.60
9. South East - £10.20
When asked why they took money without asking, 23% said they thought their partner ‘wouldn’t mind’ and 11% said their partner would ‘do the same’.
Stop stealing!
Stealing from your partner could be a sign there are underlying, bigger money issues affecting your relationship. If you have shared costs or your partner earns more (or less) than you, being totally upfront and honest about money can often be difficult.
Remember that one of the best - and simplest - ways to pay for shared costs is to set up a joint account, registered in both your names. You will then each have complete access to all the funds in that account.
The next question is whether to close your own individual accounts and get both your salaries paid into the joint account. It's important to discuss all your options thoroughly with your partner, but my advice would be to avoid this strategy like the plague if you are the kind of person who goes through bank statements and queries what the money was spent on. It will only cause friction in your relationship.
Furthermore, in a world where a third of marriages end in divorce, I think it's wise to maintain some financial independence from your partner. If you agree, you should keep paying your salary into an individual account, and set up a standing order contribution each month to the joint account.
If you are currently banking with separate banks, it is a good idea to move your existing current accounts so that you are both with the same bank. This will allow you to transfer funds into your new joint account quickly and easily. Alliance & Leicester is currently offering new customers who pay in £500 a month to its Premier Current Account a whopping £100 cashback, while First Direct has a similar offer on its 1st Account to customers who pay in £1,500 a month.
That's £200 to start off your joint account straight away. But where's the rest of the money in that account going to come from? What is the best way to organise your finances and share costs?
It's not fair
Unless you and your partner earn exactly the same salary, it can be difficult to work out a fair way of sharing joint costs. Many couples choose to split everything down the middle and contribute equal amounts to their joint amount each month.
While this is certainly democratic (and simple), it is not always fair. If you are earning significantly more than your partner and you contribute equal amounts to the joint account, then as a proportion of your income, you will actually be contributing less. To put it another way, your contribution will hurt your finances less than your partner, who may have to make more sacrifices in order to be able to afford the joint bills.
If this doesn't seem fair to you, another option is to:
- 1) Add up your household expenses.
- 2) Add up your both your salaries to figure out the total household income.
- 3) Work out your salary as a percentage of the household income.
- 4) Pay the bills according to this percentage.
So if you earn 60% of the household income and your partner earns 40%, you would pay 60% of the bills and joint expenses and he or she would pay 40%.
This method is a transparent reflection of your relative spending power and is particularly useful if the higher earner has expensive tastes or wants to live in a more costly area, which would drive up your household costs. Why should you both miss out on the good things in life, if jointly, you could comfortably afford to pay for them?
However, such an arrangement is not without its problems. You need to be sure that you are both entirely happy with it, and feel comfortable with the fact that one of you is subsidising the lifestyle of the other. If you are the higher earner, ask yourself: would you feel resentful about all the money you have spent on the other person, if you split up? Would you throw it in their face in an argument? If the answer to either of those questions is yes, then it's probably best to stick to equal contributions.
Good vibrations
Remember the key to a happy financial affair is good communication. So if you want to discuss money with your partner, pick your moment carefully - and define what you think is and is not a ‘household expense'. (Hint: it usually involves the house.)
Nobody's perfect and there are bound to be some spending decisions that your partner makes that you won't agree with. Try not to get angry. After all, it's only money - and money can't buy you love.
More: How to move in with a partner | Free online banking tool