Most annoying customer service excuses and requests

Robert Powell takes a look at the worst things people in customer service say to make our blood boil!

On the whole, I like to think that I’m a fairly calm, level headed individual. But nevertheless, there are still certain things that really get under my skin. One of them is bad customer service.

So here’s my run-down of twelve of the most annoying things to hear when you’re out shopping this Christmas...

The self -service checkout

A relatively new addition to the customer service black-list! Self-service checkouts have been annoying shoppers across the nation for the last decade – so much so that 48% of the people told a recent Fatcheese survey that they think that they are a nightmare and neither quick nor convenient.

#1 “Please place your item in the bagging area.”

Now, my big problem with this alert is that sometimes the item I'm buying is very light and somehow the manchine doesn't recognise that I've put it in 'the bagging area' (also known as 'the bag') already. So you're told over and over to do it. Soooo annoying! I’ve even tried to weigh the bagging area down using an un-scanned item after keying in an item, but then you’re stuffed when you reach the end of your basket!

#2 “Unexpected item in the bagging area.”

Half the time the ‘unexpected item’ is in fact your shopping bag - 39% of people surveyed by Fatcheese named bagging issues as a key reason for their hatred of self-service checkouts.

But to be fair, some supermarkets are now allowing you to input how many bags from home you’re using. But after doing this you’re still met with...

#3 “Approval needed... please wait for assistance.”

Just to make you’re not planning on stealing store points by claiming for extra bags!

What’s more, you just know that every other person in the queue behind you is thinking “look at this idiot who can’t use the checkout machine” anytime they hear this alert!

#4 “Item not recognised”

The most common gripe against the self-service checkout according to Fatcheese is their inability to actually scan a product.

The automated helpline

Recent stats show that if you phone up a financial services helpline you’ll spend an average of 19 minutes listening to recorded messages before getting through to a real person!

Yes, there’s been several times that I’ve come close to throwing my phone out of the window after what seems like hours of recorded options!

#5 “Please listen to the following options...”

Maybe it’s just me, but if I phone up a customer service helpline I’d say I don’t really need to be prompted to listen!

But what’s even more annoying about this phrase is that you know it will be followed by a barrage of recorded options, which will then inevitably lead to more recorded options.

#6 “Please listen carefully as our menu has changed...”

Not a good sign! How terrible must a company’s service be if they assume you’re phoning up so many times that you have learnt the old menu off by heart?

#7 “Did you know that you’ll probably find the answer to your question on the FAQ section of our website that can be found at...”

Yes I did know that, yes I did check it and no, I couldn't find the answer to my question!

 #8 “Your call is important to us. Please hold the line.”

No it’s not! If it was important to you, why have I been in a queue for the last 90 minutes? And anyway, you just tried to get me to hang up and go to your website’s FAQ a minute ago!

The person

To be fair, this isn’t really the fault of the individual – they’re only doing their job after all! Half the time it’s the companies that force customer service reps to stick to rigid scripts that are riddled with business jargon and annoying buzzwords!

#9 “That’s not our policy.”

Couldn’t companies find a less corporate way to tell you that they can’t give you what you want?

After all, I don’t say “that’s not my policy” if I think something too expensive!

#10 “Sorry, I’m new.”

A pretty flimsy excuse but acceptable in certain circumstances as long as the person doesn’t follow it up with...

#11 “... and my supervisor's not available.”

So what exactly should I do? Phone again later and sit through another half an hour of automated messages and annoying hold music?

This is especially annoying when phoning helplines during a lunch hour only to be told that the advisor you need to speak to is also on their lunch hour!

#12 “Well it’s within our standard turnaround time of 10 working days!”

Practically, what does this statement even mean? That my order will be with me in two days, seven days...ten days? Can I claim a refund if it doesn’t reach me in 10 days on the basis of the product being sub-standard?

Fight back!

Research by the Co-operative bank shows that we will each experience awful customer service a whopping 246 times during our life. It also points out the top five worst offenders for rubbish customer service. Top of the list are bars and restaurants, followed by banks, mobile phone networks, broadband providers and then energy providers.

But don’t despair; there are ways you can fight back against shoddy service! An obvious way is to just switch providers – head over to our price comparisons tools for credit cards, current accounts and energy providers to get the best deal.

Alternatively read Take the hassle out of switching for some tips on changing financial products.

If you’re dissatisfied with your bank an alternative to switching could be to lodge a complaint with the Financial Ombudsman Service. To find out more about this and for some more tips on fighting back against bad customer service read How to complain when things go wrong.

Fora full run-down of banks with dodgy customer service read The banks you complained about more this year.

Your thoughts

What's the most annoying thing you've ever been told in a shop or on a telephone helpline? Are self-service checkouts a quick and easy way of buying shopping or a waste of time?

Let us know in the comment box below.

More: Four financial firms you can trust 2000 reasons to hate this bank