The wedding stinger!

Invited to celebrate someone's marriage this year? Being a wedding guest could prove more costly than you think. Luckily, there are some smart ways you can save.

When a wedding invitation arrives on your doormat, your first reaction might be to sigh at the romance of it all.

On the other hand, perhaps you’ll simply grimace at the thought of how much attending it could cost you.

Now I’m in my late twenties (eek!) more of my friends are starting to tie the knot -- and as I’m still riddled with student loans of all sorts, I admit I live in fear of too many doing so in a single summer.

When someone I know griped recently that she was likely to spend over £1,000 on attending other people’s weddings this year, it set me thinking.

How expensive is it to celebrate a friend’s nuptials? And is there anything guests can do to cut their costs?

Here comes the… credit card bill?

We all know money can’t buy love -- but it’s apparently a prerequisite if you want to witness friends or family declaring theirs.

After talking to a group of recent wedding attendees -- and doing some research of my own -- I’ve come up with a list of ‘typical’ costs guests might face.

The table above is based on potential expenses for guests attending a wedding in the UK. It's intended to be a rough guide rather than a definitive summary of costs. 

Although I expected the total cost of attending a wedding would be high, I was shocked when I finally came up with this hefty £655 total.

While expenses such as a wedding gift and accommodation are difficult to avoid, at least others -- such as new outfits and hair cuts -- are optional.

Other costs might also differ from my estimates. The cost of travel, for instance, could be cheaper (or more expensive), depending on what method of transport you use and how far you need to go.

Couples might be able to split the cost of items such as travel and accommodation, making them cheaper.

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On the other hand, they may spend twice the amount individuals do in other areas -- such as on new outfits or drinks at the wedding.

Nine nifty tips

However much you intend to spend on attending a friend’s wedding, I’m sure that finding the spare cash is, for many of us, a difficult task.

So, here are some tips that might help wedding guests with spending stress…

1. Start saving. As soon you know you'll be attending a wedding, it’s a good idea to start saving. Putting aside £25 per month for a while will feel far easier than finding hundreds of pounds all at once.

Many couples now send out ‘save the date’ cards up to two years before the date of their wedding -- so you should have some time to build up your funds.

2. Create a budget. Make a list of the costs you'll encounter in the run up to the wedding you're going to, and consider how much you're willing/able to spend on each of them.

This will help you to control your spending, and stop it spiralling out of control.

3. Be honest. The cost of events like stag and hen parties can soon mount up -- so ask whoever’s organising them to be up front about expenses from the start.

You could even get involved in the planning process. That way, your money saving know-how could help to drive down costs.

If an event’s just too expensive, don’t be afraid to politely say you can’t participate. It won’t be an easy conversation, but it won’t be as difficult as dealing with your credit card bill after the event!

4. Accessorise. It’s likely that you already have something wedding-appropriate in your wardrobe.

Why not buy a new pair of shoes, a jacket or a tie to jazz it up? This should be significantly cheaper than buying a whole new outfit.

5. If you must buy something new, get a wedding wardrobe staple.

By ensuring that you have something plain, classic and suitable for weddings in your wardrobe, you won’t need to go shopping every time a friend gets hitched.

6. Plan ahead. Even if it’s months until your friend’s wedding, try to buy everything you need during sale season.

With the January sales in full swing, now's a great time for wedding guests to be looking for an outfit or gift.

It’s also possible to save by booking travel and accommodation in advance.

7. Go off-list. Many people worry that it’s impolite to shop ‘off-list’ for a wedding present. Nonsense!

If there’s nothing on the list you can stretch to, it’s fine to choose an affordable gift yourself.

8. Shop smarter. Don’t forget that if you’re looking for a specific item to give the happy couple, you may find it cheaper to buy online using shopbots and cashback websites.

9. Don’t keep up with the Joneses. Try not to feel competitive over your outfit, accommodation or buying rounds of drinks at the wedding.

If you avoid this ‘marriage mania’, you’ll avoid spending more than you should.

All you need is love

Hopefully, some of the hints above will see wedding guests save on the ‘essential’ costs they face.

My final tip is to remember that, when a friend or relative asks you to their wedding, it’s for the pleasure of your company -- not for the sake of critiquing your outfit or getting a gift out of you!

Don’t put pressure on yourself to spend more than is sensible, and try to focus on what really matters -- just being there to celebrate something special.

This is a lovemoney.com classic article originally published in July 2008.