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I fell in love with a scammer!

Rights, Scams and Politics

15 March 2011 | 9 Comments

Robert Powell takes a look at how an internet romance can quickly turn into costly scam...

When John Paul Young sang ‘Love Is in the Air’ back in 1977, he probably didn’t mean that it was in our wireless internet connections and iPhone signals. Yet in the modern world, it is indeed the internet that is providing a romantic spark for many singles looking for love.

Experian Hitwise research shows that visits to online dating sites rose by 22% between February 2010 and 2011. Over-50s are especially keen to find love online with visits to mature dating sites rising by a whopping 460% in the same period.

But it’s not all chocolates and roses, as online dating sites also give scammers the perfect opportunity to con you out of your hard-earned cash...

Cupid cons!

Scammers will often exploit users of dating sites by fooling them into thinking they have met their perfect partner. This allows them to worm their way into your affections and get hold of your personal details in an attempt to gain access to your cards and bank accounts and steal your identity.

Don’t be scammed! Emma Roberts reveals some dangerous scams that are circulating the web

Dating site scammers may also use your new found affection and ask to borrow money – often making up a tragic story to justify their request.

According to the Serious Organised Crime Agency, one romance-scammer bagged £700,000 from just five women, while a male victim committed suicide after being robbed of £80,000.

But there are a few simple things you can do to stay safe when looking for love online.*

Stay safe

Check out the dating site: Read some reviews and user feedback before handing over any money to a dating site. If you come across a free site offering a full service then be very wary as it could be a front for a fraudster site designed to steal your information. If it looks too good to be true, then it probably is!

Watch out for phishing e-mails: We’ve reported extensively on sneaky phishing scams, and online dating is another front that phishing fraudsters will use to get their hands on your personal details. So if you do receive an e-mail out of the blue offering you membership to a dating site – just delete it!

Be suspicious: Even if you’re positive that you’ve been struck by Cupid’s digital arrow, you should still be suspicious when getting to know anyone on a dating site. You should be especially wary of people who are keen to know all about you but don’t give much away about themselves.

Keeping an eye on the text and pictures of users is also a good idea as fraudsters will use standard photos and scripted profiles and correspondence to target several people at once. They may also claim to be in the military or have a job that involves frequent travel in order to justify secretive and dodgy behaviour.

Award-winning scams expert Tony Levene explains why he's writing a blog about scams and why he is The Scam Magnet!

Guard your details: Be very careful what information you send to other people on dating sites. Giving away details like you full address, date of birth, nicknames and names of relatives can easily be used by ID thieves and fraudsters attempting to access your bank accounts and cards.

Check your credit report and bank accounts:  Keep tabs on your bank accounts and credit record and report any suspicious activity to your bank immediately. You can check your credit record for free by signing up for a 30-day trial of Experian’s Credit Expert – just remember to cancel the subscription before you have to make any payments!

Staying safe when using dating sites is obviously essential but not being ripped off when using them is also important.  So here are some cheap ways to meet potential partners online:

The cheapest dating sites

We reviewed a whole range of free and paid-for dating sites in The cheapest online dating websites, and you had quite a few of your own suggestions. lovemoney.com user, gola mentioned plentyoffish.com, smooch.com, lookitsme.co.uk and completelyfreedating.co.uk. But as I mentioned earlier, you should be very careful if you choose to use one of these free websites and stay suspicious of every user you speak to on there as they can be rife with scammers.

There’s also a few other cheap dating sites that Emma didn’t mention in her article. Friends United Dating, an offshoot to the main Friends United site, was rated as the third best dating site by Hitwise last year. It’s free to join, search and view profiles but you’ll need a subscription to contact other users.

Be2.co.uk is similar to parship.co.uk in that it uses psychometric and personality-led tests to match you with a suitable partner, while eHarmony allows you to join and review your matches for free and only start paying when you’re ready to start talking.

Related blog post

lovemoney.com reader LA Girl also pointed out on Emma’s article that two of the biggest dating sites match.com and DatingDirect.com actually use the same database. So don’t bother signing up to both of them as you’ll find the same users!

Frugal first dates

So if you do manage to find a date online – where do you go? Check out our article from last year 24 cheap first dates for some frugal options!

This article also attracted a few comments, some of which you might find useful. Ladydriver had some great advice for anyone who lives in a university town – keep an eye on the university theatre groups and music groups for cheap performances.

It’s also a good idea to keep checking our Frugal Food blog which is updated every Friday with the best restaurant and supermarket bargains for the week ahead.

Your tips!

Have you ever had a bad experience using dating sites? Is it best to steer clear of online romances all together and just head down to the nearest bar and do it the old fashioned way!?

Let us know your thoughts in the comment box below.

*Tips provided by Experian Hitwise.

More: The scam that could ruin the Olympic Games! | The four worst car scams | Suss out these sneaky small print scams

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Comments

  • 05 April 2011

    The sad fact of the matter is that there are too many lonely people out there and social contact is so easy just by logging onto the internet. Many shy people look for contacts this way and their emotional vulnerability is a magnet to the scammer. Some, of course, have success in finding love online but the outcome is not always happy. Sometimes it is best not to take the risk and interact socially by joining a club or starting a course. Love at first sight just can't happen on a screen. http://www.negotiatenow.co.uk

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  • 04 April 2011

    This article implies that Be2.co.uk is a reputable company. Whilst I cannot say it is not it is certainly extremly difficult to cancel when you find out AFTER subscribing for £5.00 that they will take £150 on an ongoing basis. Many people online are complaining about these and whilst my friend does appear to have cancelled we will see if they take payment as some have thought they cancelled but they still took the money apparently. Be very careful

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  • 16 March 2011

    Meeting somone online doesn't have to be a bad thing. I met my partner on okcupid. Both of us had only joined really to make friends in our local area and because it seemed a bit of fun, but after realising we had a lot in common, even down to having been to the same clubs and gig we thought it would be a good idea to meet. I have had other such meetings through the internet, not always through dating sites, but several different forms of online communities. In each case you just have to know how to be safe - ie meet up in a public place (your local for example where especially if you know half the bar staff), let someone know where you are, and have an escape plan. If anyone asks you for money, especially before you know them and their home situation, get out fast!

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