Why men are useless with debt

Many men are ignoring their growing debt problems. Why?

It’s fair to say I’m not much of an alpha male.

I haven’t changed a plug since I was at school, and wouldn’t know where to start. The last time I did any form of DIY was laying the wooden floor of our bedroom when my wife and I bought our house, and in doing so I managed to tear a muscle in my shoulder which needed an operation to fix.

Indeed, my grandparents even bought me a manual explaining how to do all those ‘manly’ jobs like putting up shelves and wallpaper a couple of Christmases ago as a joke.

But there is one area where I do show a few alpha male tendencies – money.

Wilful ignorance

A few years ago, I didn’t really understand how credit cards worked, and soon racked up a bit of debt on mine. Nothing too major in the grand scheme of things, just a couple of hundred pounds, but I was more than happy to pay off a little bit here and there, ignoring the fact that the interest was mounting up and I really wasn’t getting anywhere. Basically, I was wilfully ignorant.

Related how-to guide

Destroy your debt

If your credit card bills and debts are getting you down it's time to make a stand - here are five easy ways to start.

See the guide

Thankfully I soon snapped out of it, but that ostrich approach, with the head in the sand, is pretty popular among men. Indeed, new research by the debt charity Money Advice Trust shows that when it comes to debt, men are their own worst enemies.

A question of control

The study looked at both why men fell into debt, but just as importantly, how they dealt (or rather, didn’t deal) with that situation.

Unsurprisingly, to me anyway, the research found men exhibited a ‘powerful need’ to see themselves in control of their finances, and also any solutions. The research found that men need to be able to ‘do it themselves’ when managing debt. Indeed, it suggested that the best way for debt advice firms to get men on board was to find approaches that would ‘empower’ the man, so that they felt in charge once more.

That’s a pretty worrying indictment, isn’t it? Are we men so insecure and petty that we have to be manipulated so that we feel like we are in charge, even when turning to the experts for help?

Over-optimism

Then there’s the over-optimism, expecting it to be far easier to clear that debt than it actually ends up being. We look at where we can cut costs and kid ourselves that the debt is manageable, that it will be wiped out in no time. And then there is denial – I don’t have a debt problem, I don’t need to pay that bill, I’ll just put it in the drawer and forget about it. Indeed, the report found that in some cases men look to their partner to do the worrying for them, so they can carry on, oblivious.

Now, denial is not a uniquely male thing. An earlier study into women’s approaches to debt found that women too exhibited denial, though it manifests itself in markedly different ways.

With women not wanting to face the extent of their debt, and therefore doing nothing, it was found to usually be down to a sense of feeling overwhelmed.

Asking for directions

When reading Money Advice Trust’s report, a certain image kept coming back to me – of me being lost in the car. Because, for no reason that I can possibly explain, I can never bring myself to ask for directions - a typical stubborn man, basically. Clearly, asking for directions means admitting you’re lost. And that’s something I struggle to do.

Is it really that different with money management? We don’t need to ask for directions, as we are not really lost, we just haven’t found where we are going yet. We don’t need to get help with our debts, because we are not really in debt, we just haven’t paid off all our bills yet. And the over-optimism in clearing those debts is no different to the over-optimism in believing that if we just drive around for a while, we will soon find the right way to get to our location.

Stubbornness is not a great attribute at the best of times, but can be downright harmful when it comes to money.

Free debt advice

What’s most frustrating about all this is that there are a number of great organisations offering debt advice absolutely free, from the CCCS to Citizens Advice to Shelter. I’d always be wary of any firm that wanted payment for providing debt advice – the advice may be great, but why pay for it when you can get it for free?

Be sure to have a read of Get debt advice for free for a great explanation of where you can get free advice, and what services the various charities and organisations offer. And if you still can't bring yourself to get some advice, and need to 'do it yourself', a good step would be to make use of our free Tracker tool. That way you will see before your very eyes exactly where your money is going each month, and where cuts can be made.

An improving debt picture

However, there are signs that men are ditching the shackles of alpha-maledom already. The Consumer Credit Counselling Service reports that since its formation in 1993, it has always received more enquiries from women than men. However, since 2007 (and the onset of the recession) the number of men contacting the charity for advice has jumped by 51%, double the number of enquiries from women.

If the recession turns out to be the turning point, when men finally opened their eyes to the importance of debt advice, then it will not have been all bad!

More: Get a 0% credit card | Lenders flocking back to buy-to-let | Tesco double Clubcard points are back!