Single Mums Are Fighting To Survive

'As Grandparents' who worked all our lives in low paid jobs we most earnestly subscribe to the belief that ALL PARENTS [Male & Female] should SUPPORT their kids. However the 'Child Support Agency' [Although apparently Reconstituted] Remains a basically complex & GROSSLY Unfair organisation. This Agency STILL operates TWO SYSTEMS an 'OLD' System, which is intrusive, Complex and levies a crippling level of Child Support against the 'None Resident Parent', NO Credit is given for caring for the Child UNLESS this exceeds 102 nights per year, even when EXTRA nights exceed this, It is IMPOSSIBLE to Prove!! Our son has, like many others, [and despite having NO ARREARS,] been driven from being a happy hardworking person into suffering from stress, depression and potentially self harm, this costs his employers, the NHS and his wider family. Many parents of either gender feel and suffer the same. When the Election Comes we will [Despite a lifetime of supporting Labour] do EVERYTHING we can to ensure they LOSE office. NO Other group in society are dealt with in TWO entirely DIFFERENT ways, as are the happless clients of the C.S.A. 'The Smoke & Mirrors' Agency.

Stephie3 - that sounds pretty tough. I really admire you. Have you had a look at our goals section? There may be some stuff in there which could help you save a bit of money. Also have a look at our money-saving tips section. We often do articles on where you can get free stuff or go on free nights/days out, especially for parents on a budget. Good luck and I really hope the site can help you a bit. All the best Donna (Acting Editor of lovemoney.com)

Well I have been a 'single mother' (on benefits) for the last six ish years. I was in a violent relationship and so my husband and I divorced, when our children were babies. I have had a partner for nearly five years, and we have had a baby together, but not lived together. This was due largely to the fact we had nowhere to live together, I have been living with my mums for a couple of years and my partner is disabled and so had his own place about 20 miles away from us. We have wanted to live together, but no one prioritises couples when it comes to help with housing, and I refuse to lie and say I would be living on my own with the kids when I wouldnt be! But we have recently been given a housing association house together and are just about moving in together. But my god we are going to be so broke! At the moment with my income support for me and three kids, and my partners incapacity benefit and (lower rate) DLA we have been doing ok apart, but it will dramatically decrease as a couple. But I dont care, simple reason being for me us being a proper family is more important than how much benefit we can claim. My partner wants to work, but isnt allowed to (he has mental health problems) so it is down to me, despite being quite well educated, having been out of work for a few years, and in these times of economic crisis, finding a job wont be easy, but it is to become a priority for me now. I have to say, being a single mum on benefit, I have never really struggled with money. The kids have never gone without the things they need, we dont really struggle to pay the bills or put food on the table, but I think its probably because having come from being part of a working couple when the kids were born, and that being just before tax credits came in, we went through much more financial hardship then than I have ever been since being on Income support! I have never recieved child support from my childrens father, the csa gave up on him though he is remarried and both of them work and they have no children, he doesnt regard child support as essential. He would rather spend the money on his latest hobby than on his children, but its fine by me. It will be his conscience he will have to wrestle with when he gets older and realises how selfish he has been. As far as Brighthouse goes, I wouldnt touch them with a bargepole. I can see the appeal, but really, my motto now is dont buy what you cant afford! If I want a new telly, I save up for it, delayed gratification makes it seem so much nicer when you have it! I guess its a case of prioritising. Household essentials and even some luxuries are affordable, even on benefits (without cheating lol!) you just have to be willing to give up the ciggies and nights out to afford them.