Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Harvey Jones never harboured dreams of being super rich... until now. After all, 5.4 million millionaires can't be wrong...

When I was young, my dreams centred around travel, adventure, love, fame and my great unstarted novel. I sneered at the idea of fabulous wealth. I pooh-poohed it.

I also snorted at the thought of dedicating myself to some demanding profession or slaving day and night to build my own business. Too much like hard work, I ruled, and became a journalist instead.

But now I'm 42 years old, and something has changed. For the first time, I really fancy being filthy rich.

Who wants to be a millionaire? Er, actually.

And it seems I'm not alone. Plenty of people want to be millionaires, naturally, and the desire seems to get stronger as you get older.

Stupid numbers of people believe they will actually achieve it as well. Some 5.4 million Britons claim they are on course to banking a million, according to new research from Cater Allen Private Bank.

Interestingly, dreams of becoming a millionaire fade in your 30s, but then revive in your 40s.

That certainly mirrors my experience.

I'm realistic enough to accept that the only way I'm likely to become a millionaire is if the UK suffers Zimbabwe-style hyper-inflation, or some eccentric millionaire whose hubcaps I polished during bob-a-job week remembers me in his Will.

That was fine before I turned 40, but now, I'm beginning to get rather annoyed about it.

Money, money, money.

The young don't need a million in the bank because they've got the one thing money can't buy: youth.

Middle-aged fellows like myself do not. My youth has mostly been spent and all I've accumulated in return are bills and responsibilities - two things money can deal with quite effectively.

Money can also buy time. And I crave the time to do all the things I want to do before I die, like travel, improve my Spanish, try exotic sports like fencing, finish my great unstarted novel, and most important of all, hire a Polish cleaner like my sister does.

In other words, all the things you can't do when you're grinding away to pay the next utility bill and keep the kids in shoes.

Money is also the only adequate compensation for the groans and aches, the loss of libido and hairline, the incontinence and mental deterioration that comes with old age (at least it does in my family).

Rich is a four-letter word.

There are drawbacks to being fabulously wealthy, I would imagine. You have to endure endless meetings with slimy investment bankers charging several hundreds pounds an hour to manage your wad.

And when the global economy collapses you don't just lose a few thousand pounds in Bradford & Bingley shares, but see hundreds of thousands wiped off your portfolio. That's gotta hurt.

Plus you end up hanging out with other rich people, and I don't have much in common with rich people (although I suppose that would change if I had money).

Worst of all, your children are secretly willing you to die so they can spend your pile in far more interesting ways than you ever did.

Considerably richer than you.

Feeling wealthy is of course relative. By historical standards, anybody who is living above the poverty line is astonishingly affluent (at least until their credit card gets maxed out or the bank repossesses their home).

Yet we don't feel it. New research puts this down to something called the Hello! effect, where relatively affluent people feel worse off after reading tales of the glamorous free-spending lives of the super-rich.

Even filthy rich people aren't immune to wealth-envy. Chelsea footballer Frank Lampard admitted that he was feeling pretty pleased with his wedge, until he set foot on Roman Abramovich's yacht.

Thankfully, there is an easy cure. Stop reading Hello! and find a more sensible set of peers to compare yourself to.

And when a billionaire Russian oligarch invites you onto his personal yacht, tell him you're busy.

Beyond the dreams of avarice.

We're a nation of financial dreamers. Millions of Britons believe they are set to become millionaires, yet around half of us aren't saving a single penny towards retirement. They can't all be banking on being millionaires by the time they retire, can they?

If you dream of makin a million, I wish you better luck than me. But don't put your faith in dreams alone, back it up with paying regular monthly contributions into a tax-efficient savings vehicle such as a pension or Isa. You know, just in case.

That way even if you don't accumulate a princely sum, at least you won't end up living like a pauper.

More: From Baby To Billionaire!