Top ten dodgiest expenses claims

Here are some of the most dubious claims from small business owners this year.

Now that the deadline has passed, it’s the time for the taxman to sift through all those tax return forms. A hideously dull job in many ways, but hilarious in others.

You needn’t feel guilty about claiming for that shop-bought sandwich anymore; just take a look at ten of this year’s most questionable business claims, compiled by online tax-filing service SimpleTax .  

Dog food

This claimant’s “office dog” (not a personal one) is essential to the running of his business. But seeing as they’re higher maintenance than a stapler, he believed he should be able to claim for pet food and even insurance for his pup.

A membership to an exclusive country club

For those who don’t have a shower at home, the country club is naturally the next best place to wash. This entrepreneur’s justification is quite convincing too: “I need to get clean to meet clients so it’s effectively a business expense.”

Bouncy castle, Spider-Man cake and other party paraphernalia

“Yes, my bouncy castle was for business use only.” So it’s a children’s birthday party business? Nope, turns out it was for a team-building event.

Several designer dresses

For many women, a designer dress uniform is but a dream. For this one, it’s apparently an expense-deductible right.

Botox

It seems that appearance is all-important for small business owners. Keeping their youthful looks is central enough to claim expenses in this owner’s line of work: “I need to retain a youthful appearance to represent my business.”  

PlayStation, games and gaming chair

Some companies tackle workplace stress through seminars or group meditation, but this guy has a slightly different approach: “Work causes me a great deal of stress and I wouldn’t have a need to play a games console to unwind if I didn’t have such demanding clients.” 

15 sessions with a personal trainer

Good health is central to a happy and productive worker. According to this entrepreneur, an assumed high risk of heart attack means he should be eligible to claim expenses on a personal trainer.

Above ground swimming pool

Sales that are pitched in a swimming pool guarantee success, right? At least that’s what this claimant thought when he tried for an above ground swimming pool.

Eight dental veneers

This hopeful attached a photo of themselves with a caption that reads: “How many new clients do you think I would have got if I still had teeth like these?”

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226 bottles of energy drink over a 12-month period

We all know what it’s like to be the walking dead in the morning. This person just needed a little more help: “I wouldn’t make it past 11am without falling asleep at my desk and if I [bought these] every day I’d be bankrupt within six months!”

You won’t be shocked to hear that none of these claims were granted.

Actual allowances

There are a few more “off-piste” expenses which are actually allowed. See you if you or your company could save a bit of extra dosh:

Body oil: Body builders can claim for this to achieve their ultra-shiny muscles.

Headache pills: One business woman claimed that she wouldn’t have a use for them it if wasn’t for her work, so HMRC allowed it.

Google Glass: These pricey beauties can be claimed for if they’re used for business purposes, and not for browsing Reddit.

Bicycle travel: Another reason to go green - commuting cyclists can actually claim a flat rate of 20p per mile when travelling for business.

Apps: Business apps downloaded from Apple or Google Play can be reclaimed on your tax return.

What's the strangest expense you've ever claimed for? Let us know in the comment box below.

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