Recession: the movie

It's been a rollercoaster ride of a recession - but how will it end?

In many respects, the recession has many similarities with a Hollywood blockbuster.

It has good guys and bad guys, winners and losers, fear and greed, and mind-boggling sums of money at stake.

Some people have lost everything, whole countries have come close to collapse. At one point last autumn, we stood on the brink of global meltdown. The clock was ticking, and disaster was only just averted at the last minute.

There has even been talk of a sequel. Credit Crunch II: Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the red.

And like all white-knuckle movies, the audience is asking itself the same question - how is it going to end?

Will the recession be V-shaped, U-shaped, W-shaped or WWW-shaped? Or maybe a messy, indecipherable squiggle?

That is the question on everybody's lips, and there is no shortage of people lining up to answer it. Here's a selection of likely plot endings, as recently predicted by a range of expert analysts.

*Spoiler alert! If you don't want to know how the recession ends, look away now.

What the experts say

"While the UK economy appears to have emerged from the recession, we are predicting a rocky road ahead."

Michael Dicks, Barclays Wealth.

"The stock market recovery will not be matched by a broader economic recovery."

John Greenwood, Invesco.

"House prices will crash. And then They will crash again. Only people in rented property will survive. And then my evil work is complete!"

Cliff D'Arcy, lovemoney.com.*

These are the views of just three illustrious analysts, and there are scores more willing to spoil the surprise by telling you what happens next.

The truth is, nobody knows. Predictions differ from one day - or one piece of economic news - to the next. Economic sentiment swings wildly, especially at times like these.

So what can you do about it?

Here are five things we can say for certain.

It's a rollercoaster ride of a recession!

Some of my friends have lost jobs, others have found jobs (and better jobs!). Some have watched their income fall by half, others have seen their mortgage repayments tumble. One minute they're up, the next they're down.

If things aren't going your way right now, keep your nerve, that can quickly change. And if you're riding high, don't get carried away, keep building up your emergency cash reserve, so you're ready for whatever happens next.

Luckily, you can Save money in every room of your home. You can even survive redundancy, if you heed the Six things you must do if you lose your job.

They lent you money, now they want it back

The market was flooded with cheap credit during the boom, like an evil movie drug dealer flooding the market with cheap heroin. No wonder so many of us became addicted. Now the borrowing binge is over, you have to wean yourself off it.

Start by kicking the hard stuff, such as high-APR credit cards and personal loans. If you don't know where to start, here's The best way to get out of debt.

This one will run and run

There is no quick fix to the country's financial problems, it will take years to put things right.

So now is the time to fight back. Here are Seven ways to save money every week and Nine financial products that will make you money.

And there may be times when you have to get mean. Really mean. Are you tough enough to try The top seven stingiest money-saving tips?

Trust nobody

At times, the recession looks like a conspiracy movie. You can't trust the government, because it wants to torture you with painful tax increases.

You can't trust your boss, who might sack you at any moment. Fight back by learning The ten best ways to recession-proof your job.

And you can't trust your bank, because it got you into this mess in the first place. We all know The banks are ripping us off, so don't fall victim to The worst banking scam in Britain.

The slightest slip could destroy you. You can't afford to make a mistake, especially one of the Top five worst pension mistakes.

Like all great movie heroes, ultimately, you're on your own.

Everybody likes a happy ending

The lights go up, credits roll, It's the end of the credit crunch!

How do recessions normally end? That's right, in recovery. If you follow the above tips, hopefully you will be one of the lucky ones left standing at the end of this financial disaster movie.

* I paraphrased slightly. Sorry, Cliff.

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